10: The Truth About Self-Care in Perimenopause — What No One Tells You

In this episode of Midlife and Glowing, hosts Alicia and Nicole discuss the importance and definition of self-care during midlife, especially around International Self-Care Day. They bust common myths, share personal stories, and answer common questions about incorporating self-care into busy schedules. The duo also highlights simple, practical self-care practices that don't require much time or money and stress the need for consistency over extravagance. They conclude with a challenge for listeners to define personal self-care rituals that bring joy and grounding. Join them on TikTok and YouTube for a week-long self-care challenge full of adaptable and straightforward rituals.

00:00 Introduction and Hosts
00:05 Defining Self-Care in Midlife
00:41 Real Self-Care Confessions
01:41 Dream Self-Care Day
03:25 Unconventional Self-Care Practices
11:54 Rapid Fire Self-Care Questions
13:49 Challenges Women Face with Self-Care
15:58 The Importance of Self-Care
16:16 Personal Experience with Self-Care
17:35 Understanding the Difference in Self-Care Approaches
18:59 Self-Care in Midlife
21:35 Daily Self-Care Practices
26:46 Travel and Self-Care
30:03 Common Self-Care Questions Answered
34:17 Final Thoughts on Self-Care

📌 Resources Mentioned:
📥 Free Daily Glow Rituals Guide → https://stan.store/thedailyglowlife/p/daily-glow-rituals-guide

Transcript

Alicia : 0:00

Hey there. Welcome back to Midlife and Glowing. I'm Alicia.

Nicole: 0:04

And I'm Nicole. And since International Self-Care Day falls in this week, we're diving into a topic that's so needed right now, what self-care actually means in midlife and how to make it work for your real everyday life.

Alicia : 0:17

Because self-care isn't just face masks and massages, as great as those are, it's so much more. Before we get into the science and strategy, let's loosen it up a little. And we thought it would be fun to start with a few real life self-care questions because we know self-care looks totally different for everyone.

Nicole: 0:35

Totally, and sometimes the most nourishing thing has nothing to do with spa appointments or Epsom salt baths. So let's play a little real self-care confession session. All right, Alicia, what's your ultimate lazy girl self-care move?

Alicia : 0:50

Hmm. um, I would say maybe putting protein powder in my coffee in the morning. Um, that's, you know, pretty easy. And then maybe I'll go and, and sit and be lazy with my protein coffee. So maybe that.

Nicole: 1:05

That's great. I love it. I think, um, my, my initial reaction would be to say meditation because it's like, you know, super chill and relaxing to me and doesn't take, you know, a whole lot of effort I like to do it while I'm, uh, waiting for my coffee to brew anyway. So say I would say that, that's one. But also thinking about red light and PEMF, like you're just laying there. So I suppose it can't get much lazier than that, Um, so that's another good one.

Alicia : 1:35

That's true.

Nicole: 1:35

But I think my initial response would be the meditation.

Alicia : 1:40

Okay. The next one. If you had a whole afternoon to yourself, no kids, no responsibilities, what would your dream self-care day look like?

Nicole: 1:49

Oh, if I'm just dreaming and I could do exactly whatever I wanted, I would say, I mean this is like, you know, your typical, when you think of self-care, everybody thinks of spa appointments. Uh, but a legit, that's what I would, that my dream self-care, I would actually have a spa day, but one where you have, you go to a place that has like all the hydrotherapy stuff where you can like sit in the steam room or the hot tub, and then maybe you go into the pool and you just, like, maybe you relax with a, a book by the pool or something like that. And then you have your spa appointment and you can like kinda lounge around in a robe. Um, that sounds like my dream Self-care afternoon.

Alicia : 2:35

I would have to agree. I would say that, but before we get to the spa, I would say. Meet some girlfriends, maybe sisters, sister-in-law, mom, whoever, meet the ladies, um, at a coffee shop or something and get a, a coffee or maybe a, a tea, decaf, smoothie, whatever it is. And, uh, maybe a, like a healthy nourishing meal, like, you know, a healthy bowl or, you know, something like that. So a little drink. Little healthy meal, and then we're heading to the spa and spending the day there doing all the things you mentioned. So that would probably be my, uh, dream Self-Care afternoon.

Nicole: 3:18

That sounds amazing. I'm totally in.

Alicia : 3:21

All right. Let's book it

Nicole: 3:23

done. What's one thing you do that might not look like self-care to anyone else, but 100% is for you?

Alicia : 3:33

Um, I would say, um, putting in my earbuds and, um. Kind of blocking, blocking everybody out. Like if I'm overstimulated or you know, there's a lot of chaos going on at home, uh, maybe put in my earbuds and listen to a little music or an audio book or something. Um, just kind of. Reset, uh, you know,'cause there can be a lot of chaos and, and stuff going on at home and sometimes it gets a little overwhelming and, you know, my kids are older, so it's not like they need me anymore. You know, I'm not like blocking out the toddlers or the babies. My kids are older and very self-sufficient. So I would say sometimes self-care is, is zoning out the chaos of my house. Uh, sorry. Love you. Hey, love you kids. Love you husband. But, uh, sometimes you just need to step away from the chaos or block out the chaos.

Nicole: 4:41

Hey, gotta do what you gotta do sometimes. What about thrifting? Do you feel like thrifting feels like self-care to you? Because I know you love it.

Alicia : 4:49

Yes, I do. It really is kind of, uh, a stress reliever as well. I love a good deal. I love shopping. I love, you know, the hunt for a treasure. So, yeah, I would definitely say thrifting is also a form of self-care and stress relief for me too.

Nicole: 5:08

I would say for me, uh self care that doesn't look like It to anyone else, but definitely is to me, I would have to say uh, nerd alert, I would have to say learning. Um I love to learn like maybe not so much, you know, the doctorate or the master's program that I did but, as self-care, I loved'em, I loved all of the things that I learned in those programs. But, you know, when you have like deadlines and tests and things that are important you know, there's a little more stress associated with those kinds of things, but like some sort of certification or like personal development books, things like that. I do just love to learn. So even I'm learning Spanish right now. Chris and I are planning on going to Peru at some point, so we wanted to learn Spanish. So I got the little app and I'm doing a couple minutes of Spanish in the morning. So things like that, that I, I definitely find that nourishing to to myself. So,

Alicia : 6:00

That is the perfect answer for you. You are the perpetual learner, and we love you for that As our resident health, and wellness expert, uh, anytime, you know something's going on with one of us, we're thankful for your, uh, learning and your expertise. So, yes. Perfect. Okay, the next one. What is your current non-negotiable self-care ritual?

Nicole: 6:27

That's a tough one because I, there's a lot of, I do a lot of things that I kind of feel like, you know, at this point they're kind of non-negotiable because they're just part of the everyday routine. Right. But I would say if I think about if I'm going somewhere or traveling or I'm away from home and I don't have all of you know, the things that I normally would do, definitely meditation and my supplements, those are definitely things that I make sure to do when I'm not home, even, you know, um, not everything that I do when I'm at home, I can do away from home, but I would say those things, I definitely make sure to still get in when I'm even away. But there's, you know, it's, it's kind of hard to say, because there's a lot of things that I feel like You know, are really important to me that I try to do everyday but would go with those two. How about you?

Alicia : 7:16

Um, I would say my skincare, especially my nighttime skincare, that ritual is like, I, I do it every night, no matter if I'm exhausted, don't wanna spend the time. You know, if I'm traveling, like I pack everything and, and I do all of the steps no matter what it kind of like is a signal for my brain to, You know, like it's time to wind down and get ready for bed and, and that kind of thing. so definitely the skincare, especially nighttime ritual and then movement. And that's something, you know, I try to get, even if I'm traveling, whether it's a walk or, you know, it might look a little different, but, movement also.

Nicole: 7:58

Yeah. Cool, Okay. So what's the most unexpected thing that makes you feel better when you're having an off day?

Alicia : 8:04

I don't know if this is unexpected, but I would say, maybe there's two answers to this. The first one is, is kind of counteracting the second one. I would say going for a walk or, you know, getting some movement that's always like a major, you just feel the stress melting off when you're getting exercise or movement or whatever. But I especially love, going for walks, you know, and getting the fresh air, the sunlight, whatever it is. It's such a nice reset, I feel like. And if I go in the evening and I catch a sunset, that's like an extra bonus. Like I see some amazing sunsets in the evenings when I walk around my house. So I have a whole camera roll filled with sunsets so that. And then the other one, which is probably not so great. And counteracts the walk is chocolate. I mean, I feel like chocolate always makes you feel better. It might be the answer for anything.

Nicole: 9:07

Totally!

Alicia : 9:08

Yeah, I do try to have, you know, the healthier chocolate, of course. So it's not as bad as some of the, uh, refined sugar and other garbage, but yeah, I mean. Having a bad day, chocolate might be the answer.

Nicole: 9:22

I like both of those answers. Definitely a walk is a perfect reset. And chocolate, I mean Done. I would have to say for myself, the most unexpected thing that makes me feel better when I'm having an off day is actually. Uh, I would say cursing. So I would say, you know, if something's off it's not necessarily that I'm cursing at someone, just cursing. Yeah, I would have to say that cursing just makes me feel better when, when shit's going sideways.

Alicia : 9:53

Yeah, you definitely have some F's to give, but it's, it's really funny to me that. You have that answer because you're like, not that person. You're like nice, kind person, but hey, she's got a mouth like a sailor folks, especially when she is driving.

Nicole: 10:16

Oh yeah. Yeah. I have gotten a little bit better about my road rage, I have to say. That's, you know, that has gotten a a few ticks better, but yeah, that sometimes I just gotta let it out. You just gotta let it out.

Alicia : 10:28

Yep. You know, if it makes you feel better and it's not hurting anyone else.

Nicole: 10:33

Exactly.

Alicia : 10:34

Okay. The next one. What's something you do now for self-care that your younger self would've rolled her eyes at?

Nicole: 10:41

I would actually have to say that, this is a this is a hard one because I feel like even when I was younger, I was always very interested in self-care things, but I think actually I didn't love to read when I was growing up. So if I would've known at that point that I would be, you know, reading for fun, I would've probably totally laughed at that because I didn't really love to read back then. So yeah, I would say reading. Yeah.

Alicia : 11:11

Okay. Um, for me, I would say. Being as interested in skincare as I am, I was one that I did not wash my face before I went to bed. I would go to bed with a face of makeup on and then wake up still with that face of makeup on and, you know, I'd use makeup wipes solely to wash my face. so yeah. Didn't make some great skincare choices when I was younger, but I'm making up for it now. But I definitely would not have expected that of myself when I was younger.

Nicole: 11:48

Right. Yeah that's funny because now it's kind of, it's like front and center for you, so.

Alicia : 11:53

Oh yeah. Love my skincare.

Nicole: 11:55

Okay, let's do a little bit of self-care, rapid fire. So we're gonna take turns answering in three seconds or less. Morning or night routine?

Alicia : 12:03

Night.

Nicole: 12:04

Morning for me.

Alicia : 12:06

Skincare or Movement?

Nicole: 12:08

Movement.

Alicia : 12:09

Both. I don't care. I'm saying both. I love'em both. Both.

Nicole: 12:15

Solo time or social time?

Alicia : 12:17

Oh, easy. Solo introvert.

Nicole: 12:21

Same. Solo for sure.

Alicia : 12:23

Epsom salt bath or dry brushing?

Nicole: 12:27

Well, I would have to say I like'em both, but I'm gonna say Epsom salt bath.

Alicia : 12:31

I would say the same.

Nicole: 12:33

Tinted SPF or full face of makeup?

Alicia : 12:35

Easy. Full face of makeup every day.

Nicole: 12:38

Tinted SPF for this gal.

Alicia : 12:40

Favorite essential oil?

Nicole: 12:43

This is a hard one, but I would have to i'm gonna say sandalwood.

Alicia : 12:47

Okay. Yeah. This is a hard one. I would say lavender, but I gotta give geranium an honorable mention.

Nicole: 12:54

Mmm. Both delightful. Okay. Silence or sound bath?

Alicia : 13:00

Silence. Only because I've never done a sound bath, so I'm not really sure what that looks like. So silence.

Nicole: 13:08

Okay. I'm gonna say sound bath. Even though I do love silence. I'm gonna say sound bath.'cause I know they're very relaxing.

Alicia : 13:14

Read a book or watch a show.

Nicole: 13:17

I'm gonna actually say watch a show. I know I said earlier that I love to read, which I do love to learn, but I'm gonna say watch a show.

Alicia : 13:24

Okay. I'm gonna say read a book because I actually don't really watch tv.

Nicole: 13:28

Okay. Alright, if you're listening in right now, we wanna hear what self-care looks like for you, so make sure to find us on TikTok or YouTube and let us know.

Alicia : 13:39

Okay, that was fun, and clearly we take our self-care very seriously. But I will say personally, that wasn't something that was always true for me.

Nicole: 13:47

Totally. So let's talk about that. Why do women struggle with self care?

Alicia : 13:52

I would say from personal experience for me, three big reasons why I've struggled with this, is like a feeling of guilt for taking the time and energy. You know, like doing that for yourself when you have 800 other things you know you need to be doing. Also struggling to carve out the time in my busy schedule. You know, between running kids and working and all the other things you have going on, mealtime, all of that. It was just really, it felt impossible to find the time in my day to fit self-care in. And then having a, complete lack of self-awareness for what I actually really needed or wanted. You know, I never took the time to think about that, you know, it was just like. You're in survival mode and you're doing all the things you need to be doing. And you were sadly, you know, this is true for so many of us, we're the last person we think about like our needs and wants. So I would say those were my three big reasons. And I would say that's probably gotta be true for a lot of women.

Nicole: 14:56

Yeah, definitely. Guilt for taking time away from others, not enough hours in a day. Feeling like you've been defined by your roles, right? Like mom, partner, employee, employer, for so long that you've kind of just lost touch with you, like what you actually want, need. I can say that personally, my big one has also been time trying to find places to squeeze it in. When I was younger, I would say that it was definitely like part disconnection for myself and not really knowing, uh, maybe not just having the knowledge of what I even needed, or how important self-care actually was. I definitely got to a point of burnout that made me need to switch gears and start changing my tune and making self care more of a priority, certainly.

Alicia : 15:41

Right. And it doesn't need to take a ton of time. And I think that's such a common misconception that we have is we need to carve out all this time in our busy day and it just. That's just not true.

Nicole: 15:54

Totally. That is a misconception. And I've even come across it in my career. Whenever I would have an intake with patients, I would always ask, what do you do for self-care? And this was often either a struggle to answer, like they didn't have an answer, they didn't know, they couldn't tell me, or they would say exercise. And then in conversation self-care was always just perceived as something that they just didn't have the time for.

Alicia : 16:17

You know, I was like that. And I kind of wrote it off. And at a point in my life I was having different issues and I made a doctor's appointment and I went into the doctor and I started, you know, listing off a few of the things that I was dealing with. And she said, well, what does your schedule look like? And in my mind I'm like, why is she asking about my schedule? Like, why wasn't she more concerned about what my symptoms are? And you know. Getting to the bottom of what's wrong with me. And by the end of that conversation she said, Alicia, you're burning the candle at both ends. You need to slow down and manage your stress. There's nothing wrong with you. And I was convinced, you know, like I had, I don't even know what I thought I had, but definitely something was wrong with me. And it really, nothing was wrong with me. So it was just so wild that when it builds up and you're not taking the time out to take care of yourself, it just compounds and shows as, you know, different what you think are health ailments. So it's just.

Nicole: 17:28

Yeah.

Alicia : 17:29

So important to take the time, even if it's just five minutes.

Nicole: 17:34

Right. Yeah. And that's what I meant when I said, you know, the answer to my question a lot of times. When I asked What do you do for self care? It was often exercise. Because I think that's, you know, what people think of first, you know? And as amazing as that is, I mean, obviously exercise is so good for so many different aspects of your physical and mental health. But there's definitely a difference between exercising, sweating, taking your stress out at the gym, doing another thing, right? Like just pushing and going. And we have this like mentality in our society of like, we have to do more, and you know, there's a difference between that and slowing down, taking a breath, giving yourself a little break. Pausing to to even assess the situation and how you feel. Like, what do I even need right now? There's such a difference between that and i'm gonna just exercise my stress away, you know, like taking a second to like slow down and understand your where your body is at, right? Like what do I need to actually feel my best?

Alicia : 18:38

Right? And self-care looks different for everyone.

Nicole: 18:41

Yeah, and not only that, it looks different at different times in your life, right? Like what you needed for self-care at 20 is probably gonna look a heck of a lot different to your self-care at 40 or 50. I think the habit of self-care is just figuring out what you need in each moment, and that can vary widely.

Alicia : 18:59

So let's talk about why self-care is so essential for your overall health and wellbeing at this stage in your life.

Nicole: 19:06

So if you're not being intentional about how you support yourself, you end up running on fumes. Chronic stress impacts not just your nervous system, but your hormone system as well, as well as your immune system, and so many other aspects of your health. But when it comes to your hormones, your adrenal glands play an integral role in your stress response, and constantly hammering them with chronic stress causes dysfunction that impacts your hormones. Because let's not forget in our episode on stress, we talked about how the adrenal glands are your main producers of estrogen and progesterone after menopause. So when you ignore stress and let it go unchecked, you're really just setting yourself up for a more intense and uncomfortable transition into menopause and beyond.

Alicia : 19:55

Right. And if you've spent years caring for everyone else, your kids, partners, coworkers, maybe aging parents, you might not even know what taking care of you actually looks like anymore. It's easy to get in that autopilot mode and put your needs on the back burner and forget about yourself completely.

Nicole: 20:13

Yeah. That's why self care in midlife isn't just nice. It's actually necessary. It's how you stabilize your energy, your mood and your sense of identity in this new season. It's really the vehicle for allowing you to experience more joy in your life. Taking care of yourself first is necessary for enjoying life, right? It gives you a different outlook on things.

Alicia : 20:36

Self-care is bigger than just a bubble bath or a Splurgy girls weekend. Although those are nice and maybe even should be prioritized. But if that's your only version of self-care, you're missing out on the full potential of making self-care part of your daily routine.

Nicole: 20:53

Yeah, exactly. There's a big difference between doing self-care once a month with a bubble bath or a spa day and making self-care a daily necessity. Real self-care is about consistency, not necessarily extravagance. If you think about it in terms of exercise, you wouldn't expect exercising once a month to make a big difference in your overall health and wellbeing, right in your fitness. You wouldn't expect one healthy meal a month to make a huge difference. We can't expect that doing something infrequently for our self-care is gonna move the needle very far in our health for supporting our hormones, nervous system, metabolism. So self-care definitely needs to be something that we start prioritizing at this time of life if we haven't yet.

Alicia : 21:36

So, what does self-care look like in this season?

Nicole: 21:39

Well, here are a few foundational simple ways to make self-care part of your daily routine. Doing literally anything that makes you happy or makes you laugh.

Alicia : 21:49

Yeah. If I am kind of having a day and I need a laugh. I'll go on YouTube and type in like funny videos or something like that. And really a good laugh is it's such good medicine.

Nicole: 22:01

Totally. Yeah. I, I'll do that too on Pinterest, I find like for some reason, I have a thing with cursing, I find, um, videos where kids are cursing just like they really hit my funny bone for some reason. Um, so funny kid videos. Also, I had a Pinterest board. I used to do this I haven't looked at in a while, but I had created a Pinterest board with cute baby animals, like little cute baby animals. Puppies and kittens and like baby goats and all kinds of like, even I think a baby sloth and like if you're having a bad day. And you look at a little baby puppy, you just, you just feel better. So.

Alicia : 22:35

Yep. A little hit of dopamine.

Nicole: 22:37

That's right.

Alicia : 22:38

Finally doing the thing that's been weighing heavy on your shoulders. I know for me once I'm able to check that off. It's like this huge weight that's been lifted and it's like, why did I do this to myself? I've been carrying this around. I should have just gotten it out of the way. Because you do feel better.

Nicole: 22:56

Definitely. Yeah. I mean, not all self-care things are like, you know, super enjoyable. I would even say cleaning the house or your workspace, that's another one that you can make part of your regular routine that maybe isn't super fun to do at the time, but definitely makes you feel better when you've done it.

Alicia : 23:16

Yeah, definitely. scheduling your wellness checkups and doctor appointments.

Nicole: 23:21

Yep. And then things that you would typically think of. Nervous system resets, like deep breathing, going for walks, yoga nidra, meditation.

Alicia : 23:31

Blood sugar friendly meals to keep energy and mood stable.

Nicole: 23:35

Morning sunlight or movement to support circadian rhythm.

Alicia : 23:39

Yeah, definitely when I get that hit of sun, that is self-care. Going to the beach, you know, walking in the sand, I mean. We don't live anywhere near a beach, but when I go on vacation, it's like toes in the sand. Instantly feel better.

Nicole: 23:55

Definitely.

Alicia : 23:56

Skincare rituals that help you slow down and reconnect with your body.

Nicole: 24:00

Saying no without guilt. That definitely counts and is important sometimes.

Alicia : 24:06

Taking your daily supplements.

Nicole: 24:08

Prioritizing quality, sleep, like this cannot be overstated. We all know how much sleep matters. So prioritizing that sleep, whether it means like getting into a consistent sleep schedule or doing anything that you need to, to make sure that your space is conducive to a good night of deep quality sleep is definitely self-care.

Alicia : 24:31

yeah, I mean, I did not get a good night of sleep last night. and man, do I feel it today. Like we were trying to record this podcast earlier and I just could not get my words out, and I know it was from that lack of sleep and not getting a good night's sleep. So sleep is so important, so powerful, and it is something that I am working on. And some nights I'm successful. Uh, some nights, like last night, not so much, but it's something I'm gonna keep on working on because it is so important.

Nicole: 25:06

It's one of those things that you kind of have to always be working on because there's always things that have the potential to disrupt your sleep. You know, like it was just 4th of July recently, so like fireworks at night were kind of a factor on one of the nights. So there's always gonna be things, and all we can do is just continue to work on it. No matter what, you know, where we're at or what stage. It's just one of those things that I think is always gonna be an area that needs attention, you know?

Alicia : 25:35

Yeah. Always a work in progress. Moving your body regularly.

Nicole: 25:39

Throwing on a pair of blue light blocking glasses an hour or two before bed.

Alicia : 25:44

And we're big fans of habit multitasking like doing red light and then the PEMF mat at the same time. Or making your daily walk, a meditative or reflective experience or listening to music, or maybe even the Midlife and Glowing podcast while you're putting on makeup.

Nicole: 26:01

And these are all relatively simple ways to incorporate self-care on a daily basis. Most of them don't take a ton of time. Instead of thinking of your own wellbeing on a rare occasion, these are simple steps or adjustments you can make to get in the daily habit of taking care of you.

Alicia : 26:16

For me, it's as simple as getting dressed in something that makes me feel good. Taking five minutes to put on my skincare or drinking my coffee in peace before the day starts. It doesn't have to be big. It just has to be yours and what makes you feel good.

Nicole: 26:31

Yeah, totally. I love meditating while I'm waiting for my coffee to brew and taking a few short minutes in the evenings for reflection and checking in. Granted, there are days where I take a lot more time with my self-care, but these are small, simple things that I work into the daily routine.

Alicia : 26:47

Okay, let's talk about the chaos that is travel. Because even when we've got our self-care rhythm down at home, hitting the road can throw everything out the window. We just got back from a weekend away with family and as much as I love getting together, I knew I still needed to get in my pockets of self-care.

Nicole: 27:05

Yeah, different time zones, disruptive routines, hotel beds, kids, events. It's so easy to just abandon your self-care when you're traveling and say, you know, I'll get back to it when I'm at home.

Alicia : 27:17

Right, but here's the thing, those are the times that you need it the most. Travel can be stressful and you're usually off your normal eating and sleeping and movement schedules. So even just sticking with one or two non-negotiables can make a big difference in how you feel. A few things that I did to keep me grounded in the chaos were, I went for a walk. I made sure to bring my supplements. I used my mouth tape and brown noise. I brought my fan from home. I know I'm not always gonna be able to do that, but we were in a, the car and had room, so we brought our fan. I stepped away for a few deep breaths just to reset when I needed it, and made sure to stay hydrated. I also went to bed when I was tired. Even though others were still awake, I didn't really care if I was labeled a party pooper because I was done. And you know, like when you get to that point in the night and you're just done, I don't know about you, but I can't people anymore. You know, like I love hanging out, love doing all the things. Um, but when I'm tired, I need to head to bed because otherwise I'm just not gonna be enjoying myself. And, you know, I might come off, in a different light to others as like, you know, being in a mood or something, but it's like, no, I'm just tired and I'm overstimulated. I need to go to bed.

Nicole: 28:36

Yeah, totally. And for me, I always make sure to pack my supplements and eye mask, and then I use brown noise on my phone. And I use the insight timer on my app to time my meditation. So those are typically the things that I'll take with me when I go. Uh, I make sure to meditate right when I wake up so that I get it in. Otherwise I'll forget. If I don't do it then, then I'll forget about it during the day, since when you're traveling, you're really not on your own schedule. You're typically, your schedule is dependent on other people. But it's simple. Those things are simple, but it keeps me feeling good when I'm in a totally different environment.

Alicia : 29:11

Right. Love that. Yeah, just bringing my basics helps me feel like me when I'm out of my routine.

Nicole: 29:17

Right. And don't forget hydration. Traveling usually means being under hydrated and overstimulated, so I always make sure to stay hydrated so I can stay ahead of that midday crash. And I know it sounds like you did recently too.

Alicia : 29:29

Yes, exactly. I, uh, have one of many emotional support cups.

Nicole: 29:36

Yeah. You're always good for that. You do always have your emotional support cup you.

Alicia : 29:39

Oh, yes. Always. I don't leave home without it, and if I do, I feel it.

Nicole: 29:44

Yeah.

Alicia : 29:45

So the takeaway here is simplify. Don't skip. Ask yourself, what are the one to two self-care rituals that make me feel grounded no matter where I am? And that's your portable glow kit.

Nicole: 29:56

Exactly. Your self-care doesn't have to look the same every day. It just has to support you where you are. Okay. Let's take a minute to answer a few of the most common questions women have when it comes to self-care in this season of life. So, how do I make time for my self-care when my schedule is already full?

Alicia : 30:14

Honestly, this is the most common question women have on self-care. Like, how do I fit it in? And we totally get it between work, kids, errands, caregiving. Most women feel like there's just no room to add anything else.

Nicole: 30:28

But here's the deal. Self-care doesn't have to be an hour long ritual like we've talked about, right? It can be five minutes of deep breathing before your day starts. It can be putting your phone down while you sip your coffee. It can be mouth taping and a magnesium supplement before bed.

Alicia : 30:43

And as a big fan of multitasking, I say layer it into what you're already doing. Red light while I listen to an audiobook. I'll walk while I'm on a call. Getting my workout space set up while the coffee brews. It counts and it adds up. Okay. Next question. What counts as self-care if I don't have the energy or money for big routines?

Nicole: 31:04

Such a good one. We've been conditioned to think that self-care has to be a massage or a spa day, but the most powerful self-care in midlife is actually the smallest stuff, done consistently. You don't need big routines or anything extravagant. The simple things that you can do every day are the things that are going to make the biggest difference. Extravagant is nice, but it's not necessary.

Alicia : 31:29

Yep. A simple nighttime skincare routine, turning on essential oil diffuser, saying no to something that drains you, that's self-care.

Nicole: 31:38

And it supports your biology too. Anything that calms your nervous system, supports your sleep or helps you feel grounded is a win. You don't need to spend more energy. You just need a few moments of intention. Even just taking two minutes to ask the super simple question, what do I need to feel my best today? And then honoring the answer to that question, that's self-care. All right, so how do I stay consistent with self-care when I always put myself last?

Alicia : 32:05

Okay. If you're nodding right now, you're not alone. This was me for years. And the truth is you really have to want to make your wellness a priority. When you shift that mindset, you create the capacity to incorporate it into your life. You know, there was a time in my life when I was very closed off to the idea of adding self-care to my routine because I was in survival mode. But now I'm in a different place and have a different perspective. And now that I've made it a priority, my life and wellbeing is so much better because of that shift. And it's not that it didn't require effort to incorporate it into my schedule, but being consistent with it makes it easier and just part of my day.

Nicole: 32:47

Right. Every habit is difficult at the beginning, but as you get more consistent, it feels easier, and eventually you don't even feel like you're making an effort. It's just part of your day. So start with a single non-negotiable. One thing that says I'm supporting myself today. Maybe it's drinking your mineral water or going outside for two minutes of sun. The smaller it is, the more likely you'll stick with it. We've talked about James Clear and his book Atomic Habits before, and those 1% changes sound small and insignificant, but when done consistently, they add up to create the change that you need.

Alicia : 33:22

And when you show up for yourself in small ways, it builds confidence and that's what helps you stay consistent, not motivation. Momentum.

Nicole: 33:32

So if you've been telling yourself that self-care is a luxury or something you'll get to someday, this is your reminder that it starts now. One breath, one boundary, one small glow up at a time. Here's the key, self-care in midlife should be supportive, not stressful. If your routine feels like another thing to manage, it's time to simplify.

Alicia : 33:53

We created a daily glow rituals guide for that exact reason. To give you quick hormone supportive practices that you can mix and match, depending on how much time you have that day. So if you need a little guidance, we'll link it in the show notes.

Nicole: 34:07

Some days it's 20 minutes, some days it's two. But when you do something daily to support yourself, it compounds. That's what changes how you feel in your body and in your life.

Alicia : 34:17

So this week, in honor of International Self-Care Day, we wanna challenge you to define what self-care means to you.

Nicole: 34:25

Not what it looks like on Instagram, not what someone else says you should do, but what makes you feel grounded, nourished, and a little more like yourself.

Alicia : 34:34

And hey, if you want a little extra inspiration this week, we're doing a self-care challenge over on TikTok and YouTube shorts.

Nicole: 34:41

We'll be sharing simple, doable self-care rituals all week long. Things you can actually fit into your day.

Alicia : 34:47

So come join us and drop us a comment to let us know what self-care looks like to you. We'd love to see how you're supporting yourself. You'll find us at midlife and glowing on both platforms.

Nicole: 34:57

Let's make self-care a daily thing, not just a once in a while thing.

35:00

Thanks for hanging out with us on Midlife and Glowing. If you love this episode, it would mean the world to us. If you'd follow the show, leave us a review or share it with a friend who's glowing through midlife right alongside you. Let's make it our best era yet. We'll see you next time.