25. Midlife Birthday Lessons: Joy, Growth & Gratitude

In this heartfelt birthday-week episode of Midlife and Glowing, Nicole opens up about the lessons she’s carrying forward: choosing joy daily, honoring grief while staying connected, and setting intentions that make midlife feel vibrant and meaningful. We jam on simple ways to weave gratitude into busy lives, books that shifted our mindset, and a rapid-fire Q&A (from coffee orders to dream trips) that’ll make you smile. If you’re a growth-oriented woman in your late 30s–50s navigating perimenopause, purpose, and self-care—this one’s for you.

Chapters:

00:00 Welcome & why birthdays hit different in midlife
01:00 Joy & gratitude as daily practices (plus a simple mantra)
02:40 Holding grief + holding life at the same time
04:10 Community, connection, and looking for the good
05:10 Books that shifted our year (Signs; Law of Attraction; Biology of Belief)
07:10 Bite-size wisdom we love (Mel Robbins, Wayne Dyer, more)
10:30 “Let it be easy” energy & unfussy self-care
12:10 Your mind is a garden: tending thoughts in midlife
14:00 Celebration doesn’t have to be big—stack small delights
16:00 Intentions for the next year (joy first, health habits, read/travel/retreats)
21:00 Why retreats call us (deeper space for change)
22:00 Rapid Fire: coffee, movement, travel, treats & more
26:00 Closing: reflect, celebrate, set intentions

📌 Resources Mentioned:
📚 Books/Authors:
- Signs — Laura Lynne Jackson → https://amzn.to/3LbwAPE
- The Law of Attraction — Esther & Jerry Hicks → https://amzn.to/4qltn01
- The Biology of Belief — Bruce Lipton → https://amzn.to/3WjL6aD
- Let It Be Easy — Susie Moore → https://amzn.to/4hn3ed6
- You’ll See It When You Believe It — Wayne Dyer → https://amzn.to/4o0BBco
🏮 Practices/Tools:
- Insight Timer (meditation) → https://insighttimer.com/
- Red light therapy → https://snwbl.io/platinumled-therapy-lights/YMMZW6680
- PEMF mat → https://rstyle.me/+06M54jijeqEzMUcwogt3bA

Transcript

Alicia: 0:00

Hey there. Welcome back to Midlife and Glowing. I'm Alicia,

Nicole: 0:03

and I'm Nicole.

Alicia: 0:04

and today's episode is a special one because it's Nicole's birthday week.

Nicole: 0:08

Yes, it feels really meaningful to Mark another year of life. I wanted to use this episode as a chance to do three things, reflect on the lessons from this last year, celebrate the gift of life, And set intentions for the year ahead.

Alicia: 0:22

And I'll be asking Nicole some questions along the way, so you can hear more of her heart, her vision, and her wisdom as she steps into a new year of life. Okay, so let's start with reflection. When you look back at this past year Nicole, what stands out the most?

Nicole: 0:36

I have to say joy and gratitude. These are definitely top of mind for me more than ever. These are, they're everything. Being grateful for the big things feels so good. You know, things like family, friends, the roof over our heads, food on the table, physical capabilities. But even being grateful for the small things feels just as good. Feeling so grateful for your morning cup of coffee, a walk in nature, you know, a phone call from a family member or a friend. And I've also been more intentional about making joy a priority. So I would definitely say those things. I use the Insight Timer app to time my 15 minute morning meditations, and they have a new quote on the app every day when I open it and one day, the quote was this, if you want to be happy, be it's by Leo Tolstoy. And it's such a simple statement, right? If you want to be happy, be. And who doesn't wanna be happy right? That day I sat and meditated on that quote, and I've been using it as a, a guide really ever since. When I'm ticked off about something, maybe having a bad day aggravated by technology or you know, irritated by someone else's behavior, I replay that quote in my mind and control the only thing that I can, which is myself. Um, there's obviously times when being happy is more difficult, obviously, you know, because I would say that another thing that's been heavy on my heart recently is loss. This was the fifth year since we lost Dad, and it's such a reminder of how short life really is. And then on top of that, there's also been other loss in the world and in our community, our we had a family friend pass away at only 38 from brain cancer. Charlie Kirk being murdered at just 31 years old and that young Ukrainian girl who lost her life so tragically on the bus. And then, you know, I live in Chicago, so, we try not to watch the news anymore because every time we do, we turn it on and it's all about how many murders there were overnight. And you know, my husband is a firefighter, so he, goes to a lot of those calls, you know, and we're reminded all the time that tomorrow isn't promised.

Alicia: 2:47

Right. That's so heavy. I know. My heart has definitely been heavy recently as well with all of this loss in the world. It's so unnecessary and just sad. Um, but what lessons have you taken away from that?

Nicole: 3:01

the lesson is that life is short and the world desperately needs more love, more connection, and more community. Those are the things that make loss bearable, that get us through the hardest times that make life feel fulfilling and that keep us aligned with living our highest path. Hard things are going to be part of life. They're inevitable, but we have to make a habit of looking for the good, choosing love, and staying connected. It just, it makes me think of another of my favorite quotes. If you wanna see a rainbow, you have to walk in the rain and life is full of challenges, but there's so much joy and love too. And I think that, you know, that's why joy and gratitude, just being in the energy of being grateful for what we have and choosing to see the joy and the good things that there are in our life, because There are a lot of them.

Alicia: 4:00

there are, and that's a beautiful way to look at it. So were there any books or people or even quotes that inspired you this last year?

Nicole: 4:09

Yes, definitely. So for books. Signs by Laura Lynn Jackson was an amazing read. I

Alicia: 4:16

So good.

Nicole: 4:17

yeah, we shared in our episode on grief about, you know, reading it and what an impact it had on us, and it just reminded me that love doesn't end, you know, and connection continues beyond this life. So I just really loved that book. That was a fantastic read. Another one that I read at more at the beginning of the year was The Law of Attraction, and that one was by Esther and Jerry Hicks. And you know, it's a lot about your thoughts create your reality. You know, you get to choose the life that you have based on the frequency and the energy that you are choosing to be in. And so, I think that has been really powerful. Just remembering to be intentional about the thoughts that you're choosing and the energy that's around you. the Biology of Belief is another book that I read and that kind of reinforced the same thing, how much our thoughts shape our reality and our beliefs shape our reality. What you believe, you know, has a big impact on what your reality is when it comes to people. There are a few notables. Mel Robbins, I love her. She's

Alicia: 5:29

so great.

Nicole: 5:29

fantastic. I mean, she always has the best insights and i'll, I'll share a few quotes of Mel Robbins that I've saved from Instagram that I felt like the message was pretty powerful. Stop questioning, trust that you're exactly where you need to be and it will all work out. And

Alicia: 5:49

I love that.

Nicole: 5:50

Imagine how much better life would be. If you spent your time and energy improving yourself, instead of wasting it on everyone else's drama.

Alicia: 6:01

It's so good.

Nicole: 6:02

Mm-hmm. When you love yourself, you glow from the inside. You attract people who love, respect, and appreciate your energy. Everything starts with how you feel about yourself. Your entire life can change in a year. Stop worrying about the big stuff because that's what paralyzes you. Focus on getting the little things right every day, and the positive ripple effect will be what changes your life. I mean, we talk all the time about the little small habits that make such a difference, and that's just, it's true. It

Alicia: 6:36

Mm-hmm.

Nicole: 6:37

You can change your entire life in a year. This is why you never feel good enough and what to do to change it. You're looking for validation from people who don't even understand themselves. This is going to sound harsh, but it's true. If you wouldn't trade your life with someone, why on earth do you care what they think? You will never be criticized by people doing more than you stop taking advice from people who don't strive for the same life you want. Or haven't achieved what you're going after, stop asking people who are miserable or unqualified to validate your happiness. The only person who can validate you is you. You are good enough. You can make it. You deserve your dreams. You're never going to feel ready. Do it anyway. You'll never have all the answers. The timing will never be perfect. You'll feel scared. You'll overthink it. You'll probably screw up. Do it anyway. That's how you build confidence. That's how your life changes. So, those were some messages from Mel that,

Alicia: 7:46

It's all so good.

Nicole: 7:47

they're so

Alicia: 7:48

Mm-hmm.

Nicole: 7:48

just love Mel. I mean, anytime you need a little, down to earth, positive inspiration, hop on Mel's Instagram or find her somewhere because she's sharing something amazing. I can

Alicia: 8:00

Definitely.

Nicole: 8:02

I would say another person that I have found really inspirational recently is Erica Kirk. I can't imagine losing, know, the love of your life in such a horrible way, and then for her to 48 hours later. Get up in front of the country and share a message of strength, love, and hope. And then at Charlie's funeral, she also literally said, I forgive you to the man that murdered her husband. and you know, this isn't political. You know, it doesn't matter where you stand. Like seeing that kind of message from. someone that is, you know, in such agony, emotional agony, I can't even imagine. I mean, she's got young children and it's just a such a tragic thing. And to be able to still get up in front of millions of people, first of all, just being in front of millions of people in general is, you know, anybody that can do that. You're amazing. but also to deliver a message of love, hope, and strength when you've just had that situation happen. I, I mean, she's an inspiration. That's all I can say.

Alicia: 9:18

I can't even imagine.

Nicole: 9:20

Right. So she's definitely had an impact on, wow, this is what, this is what strength

Alicia: 9:27

looks like.

Nicole: 9:28

And, and love. You know, I just shared earlier that we need to keep love and connection and community and for her to be able to share a message of love in a time like that, like that's so, it's so needed right now, and I, I think that's amazing.

Alicia: 9:43

It's beautiful.

Nicole: 9:45

It is. Suzie Moore is another you know, I've, seen her name around and I've heard of her, and I have never taken any of her trainings or anything. And I hopped on a webinar that she was doing recently and I kind of fell in love with her because her energy is just fantastic You know, I mentioned Joy. She has so much light, she's so positive and just has just great energy. And she has a podcast called Let It Be Easy. And you know, I've only listened to a couple of her, her episodes, they were amazing but just the message, let it be easy. I absolutely

Alicia: 10:21

Mm-hmm.

Nicole: 10:22

try to complicate life in so many different ways,

Alicia: 10:24

a hundred percent.

Nicole: 10:26

so I, I just love that energy and that message. Let it be easy. I mentioned that if you wanna be happy, be, I've been trying to like keep that sort of mantra. Let it be easy. That's another

Alicia: 10:38

Mm-hmm.

Nicole: 10:38

just keep as like a personal mantra. Let it be easy. So I love that.

Alicia: 10:42

Yeah, I love that too. And that's for an over thinker like me, that's something that I need to. Kind of yes, definitely.

Nicole: 10:50

Yeah, and then Pinterest has always been my preferred social media source of inspiration, really, uh, whether it's quotes, recipes, or just memes that make me laugh until I cry. I had opened it up the other morning. Chris was at work and I was, you know, sitting home enjoying my coffee and I opened it up and I saw this meme that I was laughing so hard I literally was crying and it was just amazing. But you know that I find that kind of stuff

Alicia: 11:19

Mm-hmm.

Nicole: 11:20

Pinterest and,

Alicia: 11:22

I have a board of just funny stuff.

Nicole: 11:25

Exactly. Me too. I You can bet I saved that one that I saw on my, on my funny stuff board. You know, another quote that I really like, your mind is a garden. Your thoughts are the seeds. You can grow flowers or you can grow weeds. I love

Alicia: 11:39

Oh, love that. was.

Nicole: 11:41

you know, how important your thoughts are and it is so true. If you are constantly in negative thought patterns. Yeah. You're like, they just multiply, you know, like weeds. They just

Alicia: 11:54

Right.

Nicole: 11:56

So

Alicia: 11:56

Dr. Seuss?

Nicole: 11:58

I actually don't know.

Alicia: 11:59

I wanna say it is, but I could be wrong. I mean, it is rhyming like that, but yeah. That one's so good.

Nicole: 12:05

The more I relax, the more I receive. Life doesn't respond to my effort. It responds to my frequency. I like that.

Alicia: 12:13

I do too.

Nicole: 12:15

Okay.

Alicia: 12:15

do that more.

Nicole: 12:16

Okay. This kind of relates to the earlier one, talking about our problems is our greatest addiction. Break the habit. Talk about your joys.

Alicia: 12:26

Oh, I love that.

Nicole: 12:27

So good.

Alicia: 12:28

that's so like, isn't that true? That's so true.

Nicole: 12:32

Isn't

Alicia: 12:33

you're always wanna be like, Ugh, ugh, this or that, you know, this happened or whatever. But it's like, oh, you know what? X, y, Z happened, or you know, like, I'm so excited about this. It's like, you know, also, when did we stop talking about like our goals and dreams and like the joy and you know, things that we're striving towards. Instead, we're talking about like either other people or again, our problems.

Nicole: 13:01

Oh man. There was another quote that I was scrolling through my Pinterest. oh. Here it is. Sit at a table where they talk about universe, God, growth, money, dreams, and goals. Not people.

Alicia: 13:15

Mm-hmm.

Nicole: 13:15

it.

Alicia: 13:15

Yeah,

Nicole: 13:16

gosh. You're like on that wavelength

Alicia: 13:17

I'm on that wavelength. Yeah, we're linked.

Nicole: 13:22

Another one. I really like to inspire people. Don't show them your superpowers. Show them theirs.

Alicia: 13:29

one.

Nicole: 13:30

good one.

Alicia: 13:32

Love that.

Nicole: 13:33

So good. Wayne Dyer. Okay. This is the last one. how people treat you as their karma. How you react Is yours,

Alicia: 13:42

That's a good one.

Nicole: 13:43

Ooh, it is a

Alicia: 13:44

Mm-hmm. Also good. So switching gears a little, let's celebrate what's something you wanna honor about yourself or your life as you step into this new year?

Nicole: 13:56

Honestly, life itself, life is such a gift. And you know, gratitude about that is everything, even in the midst of grief or challenges, there's so much to celebrate. Honestly, laughter, you know, a walk in sunshine, time spent with family and friends, coffee time, going out to breakfast. I love going out to breakfast, traveling, right? I mean, that's a bigger thing, but you know, there's, there's so much to celebrate and be grateful for. And gratitude really turns even the little things into big things. So that's what I am honoring is just life itself and being super grateful for all that you know, it has provided me and all that is yet to come to.

Alicia: 14:44

I love that, and I've definitely seen you this year, really leaning into joy even in small ways. Crocheting, laughing at silly Pinterest memes, just finding moments that make you feel alive.

Nicole: 14:56

Exactly, and I wanna call out that celebration doesn't have to be big or fancy, it's about making space to notice the beauty and joy that's already in your life. I'll do this when I'm on my walks or at the end of my morning meditations just sitting there And you know, thinking about all of the things that I'm grateful for, being grateful for what you have brings more of that goodness your way. So, it's important.

Alicia: 15:23

So do you have a favorite quote about gratitude or celebration? I know you've listed off several really great quotes, but do you have a favorite one about gratitude or celebration that you'd like to share?

Nicole: 15:35

Yeah. Let's go with a gratitude one. This is a good one. It's Tony Robbins. Trade your expectations for appreciation and your whole life changes in that moment. It's true.

Alicia: 15:48

It's so good. All right. Let's talk about the fun part, intentions. What are some of the intentions you're setting for this next year of life?

Nicole: 15:57

Well, I have a few big ones, uh, and a few small ones. I mean, I don't know if you consider this small or big, but making joy a daily priority is definitely number one. I'm putting that number one. I don't want joy to be occasional. I want it built into every single day. So that's a big one. And I mentioned, you know, earlier that I had read the law of attraction, and I can't remember actually if it was in the book or if it was just from listening to Esther Hick's YouTube videos, her little inspirational messages they're always like 14 minutes long or something like that, so they're just like little snippets and she talks all about just be in joy, find joy, and it's, you know, it's the law of attraction. If you are in that energy, you will draw more of that to yourself. So I like that. Also, you know, staying committed to my health and wellbeing is also something that, you know, I do all the time. And I wanna just keep it on my list of priorities because only when you take care of yourself can you serve at your highest capacity and that's what I wanna do. I wanna be able to serve at my highest capacity and, walk my highest path. And I feel like in order to do that well, to do it the best that I can do it, I have to stay committed to my health and wellbeing so that I feel fantastic. So reading more books is another one. I have a really long list. Next up I wanna read the Secret. Guided, by Laura Lynn Jackson. The next book after Signs, manifest like a Mother. I just heard Susie Moore do a podcast episode with Francesca Amber, I think is her name, and she sounded really awesome. So I wanna read her book. Let It Be Easy. Of course. That's Susie Moore's book that I wanna read. You'll see it when you believe it. And I actually just ordered that book. That's Wayne Dyer's book and I have a bunch of other Wayne Dyer books on my list too. And then I also do wanna go back and read Laura Lynn Jackson's first book, the Light Between Us. So those are a couple, but I got a long list of books that I wanna read, travel More. This is also on my list, experiencing new places. You just get a special feeling when you travel. I mean, it kind of opens your mind to new ways of thinking and just like has a special energy you know it's inspiring. So, definitely wanna keep that as a priority for myself and intention for this next year. Also, you know, one of my goals that I've been wanting for a long time, let's call it a dream. Something I've been dreaming about for a long time is leading retreats and, um, I've never been on one. So one of my intentions for this next year is to attend a retreat myself as a participant and also dive into learning more about how to lead transformational retreats myself. So that is on the agenda. You're hearing it right here and right now I'm putting it on my intention list for, you know, this next year of life for myself. happening. Living my purpose is also another intention, and for me, that's showing midlife women how to live a healthy lifestyle. That lets them walk their highest path and experience more joy. And I feel like this podcast is a big piece of that. Also, you know, the someday retreats that we're going to lead will be of that and continuing to coach women through health issues as well as living a healthy lifestyle really. I truly, truly believe that if we can get back to basics with our lifestyle and do the little things, the little boring things that make a huge difference in our health, it allows us to feel amazing and experience more joy and to live the life that you want to live because you feel good, you feel capable. So, that's, what's on my agenda, my intention list for this next year.

Alicia: 20:09

Those are so powerful. I love those. And I know retreats have always been something that you've wanted to do.

Nicole: 20:15

yeah, for sure. I just feel a calling to do them. I do feel like, you know, I've always loved helping people with their health and historically how I've done that. Yes, educating through podcasts and things like that, but when you meet with someone one-on-one, you only have, you know, anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour with someone to support them. Right? And then they have to go off and continue to, to do the things that you've talked to them about, but I feel like retreats offer more space for healing and deeper transformation that you can get in an hour in a guided session with someone, there's more space to self explore in a deeper way. So that I think is what is pulling me there. Um, but I know they're part of my future for sure.

Alicia: 21:03

That sounds amazing. Okay, Nicole, since it's your birthday, let's do a little fun rapid fire so our listeners can get to know you better. You have to answer quick, so no overthinking.

Nicole: 21:16

Okay.

Alicia: 21:17

you ready?

Nicole: 21:18

All right.

Alicia: 21:19

Okay. Coffee order. What's your go-to?

Nicole: 21:22

Black coffee, if I'm ordering out somewhere, definitely.

Alicia: 21:26

Boring. Okay. Oh yeah. It's a no,

Nicole: 21:30

because

Alicia: 21:31

it's a no judgment.

Nicole: 21:33

Yeah, yeah. What the

Alicia: 21:34

It's a no judgment zone. Pardon me.

Nicole: 21:36

it's only because I don't like all the sugary crap. I mean, if they had like actually healthy options, if they had like monk fruit or I just, sometimes they have stevia, but i'm not a huge fan of stevia in my coffee.

Alicia: 21:48

Okay. First thing you do when you wake up.

Nicole: 21:51

Uh, I immediately go and do my morning mocktail, and then I meditate while my coffee brew, and then I enjoy my coffee.

Alicia: 21:59

Current favorite self-care ritual.

Nicole: 22:02

Ooh, favorite. I would say red light and PEMF. I always, you know, stack those two together. I'm laying on my PEMF mat, have my red light on me. It's so relaxing, calming. Yeah, that one's my fave.

Alicia: 22:16

Favorite form of movement right now.

Nicole: 22:19

Well, I've always loved strength training. Lifting weights. That's my favorite.

Alicia: 22:23

If you could only eat one healthy food for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Nicole: 22:28

Hmm. One, uh, I hate this question. The only thing that is popping into my mind, I literally can't think of anything else right now, is cocoa, like

Alicia: 22:39

I was thinking chocolate too. That isn't typically something you think of as healthy either.

Nicole: 22:45

Right. But it, I mean, cocoa itself, unsweetened, you know, but the unsweetened, stuff, I would sweeten it with something, yeah,

Alicia: 22:52

that's not really healthy.

Nicole: 22:55

Cocoa.

Alicia: 22:55

that, I mean, if you're sweetening it though.

Nicole: 22:59

But if you're sweetening it with something like monk fruit or Stevia or

Alicia: 23:01

Okay.

Nicole: 23:02

that is healthy.

Alicia: 23:03

Okay. I'll let you, I'll let you answer how you wanna answer.

Nicole: 23:08

It's an antioxidant. It's so good.

Alicia: 23:11

Sold. Hey, you don't have to sell me. I'm, chocolate is healthy. let's see. Guilty pleasure, food or treat.

Nicole: 23:20

All right. Well, meijer sells these sanders dark chocolate filled Yes. the dark chocolate caramel with sea

Alicia: 23:30

Yes,

Nicole: 23:32

Oh

Alicia: 23:32

They're so good. They're at Costco too.

Nicole: 23:35

they have d Oh, they have the dairy free ones at

Alicia: 23:37

Oh, okay.

Nicole: 23:38

I've, I haven't seen the dairy free ones at Costco, so I really like those a lot. That would be my guilty pleasure for sure.

Alicia: 23:45

they're so good.

Nicole: 23:46

Mm-hmm.

Alicia: 23:47

Okay. Dream travel destination for this year.

Nicole: 23:50

Oh, well, Chris and I have a Peru trip on the books, so. That's like a once in a lifetime thing. So I'm, I'm gonna say that

Alicia: 23:58

Okay. Awesome. Favorite book or quote that's inspiring you right now?

Nicole: 24:04

Well I have to say signs'cause I just got done reading it recently and that was very inspiring.

Alicia: 24:14

What's one thing you want your forties to be all about?

Nicole: 24:17

Hm, travel. Let's do it.

Alicia: 24:20

Most used app on your phone.

Nicole: 24:22

Well, my ring app, I have a RingConn ring that tracks all, you know, your heart rate, all that. I open that every day, multiple times a day.

Alicia: 24:32

One thing that always makes you laugh.

Nicole: 24:34

Pinterest memes.

Alicia: 24:35

Okay? If you could give your younger self one piece of advice, what would it be?

Nicole: 24:41

Maybe read more books.'cause I didn't start reading until later in life. Like reading for fun,

Alicia: 24:48

Okay, What's one wellness trend you actually love and one you think is totally overhyped?

Nicole: 24:54

Well, this is just on my mind'cause I just said it, but the red light in PEMF, I mean. It's my favorite. I love it. So, uh, one that's totally overhyped hmm. maybe dieting, you

Alicia: 25:07

Hmm.

Nicole: 25:07

Just like following the hot diet trends. It can be so much simpler than we try to make it. I'll go with that

Alicia: 25:14

Okay. And since it's your birthday cake pie or something else.

Nicole: 25:20

dark chocolate cake with amazing fudgy frosting. There's a restaurant at Harrah's that we'll go to with Chris's family sometimes, and they have the most amazing chocolate cake. It's so good. Definitely cake.

Alicia: 25:36

Yum. Alright, that was fun.

Nicole: 25:39

So if there's one thing I wanna leave our listeners with today, it's this. life is short, it's also beautiful. Reflect on what you've learned, celebrate what you have, and set intentions that light you up.

Alicia: 25:52

Yes and maybe even use Nicole's birthday as an excuse to do your own little reflection, celebration and intention setting practice.

Nicole: 25:59

I love that and thank you for spending part of my birthday week with me. We're so grateful for this community.

Alicia: 26:04

Thanks for hanging out with us on Midlife and Glowing.

Nicole: 26:07

If you love this episode, it would mean the world to us. If you'd follow the show, leave us a review or share it with a friend who's glowing through midlife right alongside you.

Alicia: 26:15

Let's make it our best era yet. We'll see you next time.