34. Rituals Over Resolutions: A Midlife New Year Reset

In this powerful main episode of Midlife and Glowing, Alicia and Nicole are pressing pause on the exhausting “New Year, New You” narrative and offering a far more sustainable approach for women in midlife: rituals over resolutions.

If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by January pressure, burned out by extreme goals, or frustrated that what used to work no longer does, this episode offers a way to do things differently. The hosts explore why most resolutions fail, how nervous system regulation plays a critical role in motivation and consistency, and why midlife is actually the perfect season for gentler, more aligned change.

You’ll learn how small, intentional rituals—rather than rigid goals—support hormone balance, reduce stress, and help you reconnect with who you already are beneath the noise. From choosing a word for the year to embracing rest as a necessity (not a reward), this episode offers a calm, grounded reset designed specifically for perimenopausal women navigating energy shifts, brain fog, identity changes, and evolving priorities.

If you’re ready to glow in 2026 without grinding, this episode will meet you exactly where you are and guide you forward—one steady breath at a time.

⏱️ Chapters / Timestamps

00:00 Why “New Year, New You” Doesn’t Work
01:40 Why Most Resolutions Fail by February
02:30 The Nervous System & Midlife Burnout
04:30 Letting Go of Perfection in Midlife
05:00 Overwhelm, Anxiety & Nervous System Awareness
08:30 Self-Regulation Tools That Actually Help
09:45 Yoga Nidra as a Reset for Women in Midlife
12:00 A Guided Reset Ritual (Breath + Intention)
15:00 Rituals vs. Resolutions Explained
19:00 Escaping the Guilt & All-or-Nothing Trap
23:00 The 2026 Midlife Reset Plan
25:30 Final Takeaway: Glow, Don’t Grind

📌 Resources:
🧘‍♀️ Radiant Rest Yoga Nidra Sessions → https://stan.store/thedailyglowlife/p/radiant-rest-yoga-nidra-sessions
✨ Daily Glow Rituals Guide (Free) → https://stan.store/thedailyglowlife/p/daily-glow-rituals-guide

Transcript

0:00

There's something about January that feels like a clean slate, right? New calendars, new planners, new energy. Everywhere you look, it's New Year, new you. Like we're all supposed to emerge from the holidays, reborn as green juice and 5:00 AM wake in vision board and goddesses. If only it were that easy, right? I do love the idea of a fresh start, but that new you pressure just feels like a trap. It's like we forget. We're. Already. Amazing. And then we pile on 42 new goals before our tree is even down. Exactly. And let's be honest, most resolutions don't even make it to Valentine's Day. So today we're calling timeout on the whole New Year, new you cycle because you don't need a new you, you just need a renewed you. Amen to that. Welcome back to Midlife and Glowing. I'm Nicole. And I'm Alicia. And today we're talking about why you don't need New Year's resolutions and what we do instead. That actually works. Let's start with the obvious resolutions. Sound empowering. On January 1st, they give you that dopamine rush of possibility, but by week three, you're over it. The gym's packed. You're sore. The fridge is empty except for celery, and suddenly Netflix feels like the only sustainable habit. Yeah, the science totally backs that up too. Studies show about 80% of resolutions fail by mid-February, and it's not because people are lazy, it's because the human brain hates extremes. When we try to overhaul our entire life overnight, our nervous system basically says, Nope, too much. I'm out. Right? And we go from peppermint mocha mode to spinach smoothie bootcamp. That shock to the system is not a vibe, especially in midlife. When our hormones, energy, and patience they're already in a delicate dance. Yeah. The thing is your nervous system thrives on stability, not shock therapy. Big rigid solutions trigger stress hormones, think cortisol spikes, and that can actually tank motivation long term. It's the same reason crash diets backfire. Your body perceives them as stress, not self-care. So basically the new me plan is really just a nervous system freak out in disguise, pretty much. And at this stage in life, what we really need is steadiness grace, consistency that feels supportive, not punishing. We've talked so many times on this podcast about James Clear's book Atomic Habits and those little micro improvements that add up over time. So that's, that's the goal. Yeah, absolutely. You know, for me, I stopped doing resolutions years ago. Instead, I started setting a tone for the year, like a theme, one word that reminds me how I wanna feel, not what I need to fix. I love that. Mine one year was gratitude because I realized I didn't need another color coded habit tracker. I needed to stop micromanaging myself and start trusting myself and appreciating all the good in my life. When we focus on feeling instead of fixing, we build habits that actually stick. And that's so midlife, isn't it? We've spent decades chasing perfection, and now it's about peace. You know, it's funny, when I was younger, I used to not leave my house unless I was in full makeup and totally put together. Even if it was just to go to the grocery store, but in midlife, your give damns are really busted. You know, I still get dressed for myself and get ready for myself because I feel better that way, but. If I'm just in sweats and I need to run to the store, I don't pressure myself to look perfect anymore. I just say F it and do what I gotta do. Hey, there you go, I'm with you a hundred percent on that. And the thing is, we put pressure on ourselves to be perfect, but nobody cares if you show up at the grocery store in your sweats, right? And the other thing is peace doesn't come from 20 new rules. It comes from small aligned actions repeated with intention. Right, like the kind of actions that we lay out in our daily rituals guide, you know, tiny rituals you can weave into your real life, your morning coffee. Your walk and how you talk to yourself. Mm-hmm. We aren't going for an overnight overhaul. Our philosophy has always been supporting who you already are every single day, and taking small, aligned steps to feel great. But here's the thing, midlife resets hit differently. Our goals shift from get abs to have energy from fit into jeans to. Feel good in my skin. Hormonal changes mean we need gentler forms of consistency, which means less hustle and more harmony. Yes, and because we're juggling so much kids, parents work hot flashes, the idea of a massive overhaul is just exhausting. What we need is a reminder to do less but better. It's not discipline we're lacking. It's nervous system capacity. When you're constantly on high alert, no amount of motivation is gonna stick. That's why it's important to calm your body before you change your habits. You know, this kind of reminds me of last night, and I think this will bring us into our next, uh, section here. I was, I had a very busy day of work and. I went outside of my office into my main living area, and I noticed the floors needed to be vacuumed. I noticed our drink fridge needed to be restocked, dinner needed to be made. You know, there was all these things. There was dishes in the sink, the dishwasher needed to be unloaded. All these things that needed to be done, and I was just completely overwhelmed. I'm like, oh my gosh, I go in the bathroom, the garbage is overflowing, you know? And I'm like, yeah, am I the only one that lives here and notices this? You know? But I was completely overwhelmed. And I, you know, like when that happens, sometimes you get in a state of paralysis, like, I don't even know where to start. I don't even know what, you know, whatever. And then once some of my family members started to trickle in, I'm like, you know what? I need you to do this. I need you to do this. And then I kind of just took a few deep breaths and I'm like, everything's gonna be okay. But I like cleanliness. I like when things are put in their place. I like, you know, when there's not food on the floor as normal people probably like that, but like, you know, and it was just. I was totally overwhelmed and just wanted to like crawl in a hole and just actually get in my car and drive away. Um, and to be completely honest, I thought about it for a second. Um, but I'm like, you know what? I got this. Let's take some deep breaths because it's all gonna be here tomorrow if I don't get to it today. And I had to just tell myself and give myself grace, like, it is not the end of the world if. The floor does not get vacuumed tonight, or the drinks don't get restocked. And you know, I had all this anxiety and all of this built up stress. Mm-hmm. And I'm like, let's take some breaths. It's not the end of the world. It's all gonna get done and it's all gonna be fine. And then, you know, I had the help. A little bit. I'm, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna say it was a big great help, but there was some help. And then the rest, I'm just like, you know what? I'll get to it when I get to it. And that's not something that I, you know, I'm one that I would stay up late to do all the things. Mm-hmm. Because I can't, I don't like to go to bed with things unsettled or not cleaned or picked up or whatever. But I had to just give myself grace, take some breaths and just. Be okay with it. I love that. I mean, I think it's, it's a practice to get into that habit of, you know, getting into the mindset of being, you know, the, the nervous system regulation, right. Using the, the deep breathing or meditation or, you know, awareness practices about, about that. Right. Like you developed that awareness of your, of yourself mm-hmm. In that situation, like, okay. I will be okay. The world will not end if the floors do not get vacuumed tonight. And guess what? I can do it tomorrow. Um. I think that's a, that's a great lesson for all of us because, you know, it's so easy to get swept up into that, you know, it's like that spiral, you said you were overwhelmed, you like mm-hmm. Once you start to see all of these things, then you see more of those things and you're like, before you know it, you're like, you know, hyperventilating.'cause you're like, oh my gosh, what am I, and to other people, right. It doesn't like, like really you're that bothered by that, but like, yes. Yeah. But I was okay, but I got over it. Yeah. See there, there we go. You got you. You got yourself. I used my tools. You used your tools to get back to a place where you felt good. And I'm not talking about my children and husband when I say tools. But yeah, I mean that's, that's really my favorite topic, right? Nervous system regulation, you know, whether it's deep breathing meditation or yoga nidra. When we reset the body first, change becomes sustainable. Otherwise, you're just layering more stress on top of stress. And speaking of yoga nidra, your Radiant Rest series has been such a game changer for me. I swear it's like an instant reset button and this is coming from someone that does not relax well. Okay. I don't do well with meditation because I can't get my brain to stop. Um, I think there's a condition for that, but we're not gonna get into it. Um. But you know, it, it does it, it's so great that it like walks you through the next steps so you're not just laying there mm-hmm. With your thoughts. Yeah. I mean, I'm sure so many women listening right now can a hundred percent relate to that because I can't tell you how many times I've talked to women in. You know, whether over the years mentioning something like meditation, they're like, Nope. Can't do it. You know, for the exact same reason you just mentioned and mm-hmm. Honestly, it's exactly why I love yoga Nidra. There's a lot of reasons I love yoga nidra, but it's why I love yoga Nidra, and that's why I created the Yoga Nidra series for women who feel like they're running on fumes. It's not another thing to do. It's a way to finally rest, get the rest that you need. Absolutely. It definitely puts you in a more restful state. Mm-hmm. You know, and that's. So important. You know, we need to be more in that parasympathetic mode. Yes. Um, so yeah, that is speak a language. Definitely language. Yep. So definitely check that out. We'll make sure we, we link that. And I feel like it's the perfect teaser for our reset ritual segment, which is coming up. But let's talk about how midlife actually gives us an advantage when it comes to goals. Oh yeah, because at this stage we finally know ourselves. We've tried all the things, failed at a bunch, learned what matters. We're wiser now. Resolutions are about who you think you should be, but rituals are about honoring who you already are. That right there, that's the energy I wanna take into 2026. Same. Not a new me, just a more me. Okay, let's move into the fun part, the reset ritual. So let's start by taking a pause wherever you are, unless you're driving. Take a second to get comfortable. Relax your jaw. Allow your shoulders to drop away from your ears. Soften your forehead. Take a deep breath in through your nose and sigh it out. Let's do that again. Big inhale, filling your lungs, softening your belly, and then let it go. One more this time. Imagine you're breathing out all the pressure to be perfect, all the shoulds and musts that have been weighing you down. Now, I want you to think of one word that feels like your intention for 2026. Maybe it's peace, maybe it's strength, maybe it's clarity, joy, or presence. Whatever comes to mind first, trust that it's right. Hold that word in your heart. Let it settle into your breath. That single word can guide your choices this year more powerfully than a list of resolutions ever could. And this is something you can do anytime it takes less than a minute. Just breathe, soften and reconnect. This is what we mean when we talk about reset rituals. It's not about adding something new. It's about remembering who you are beneath the noise. Exactly. That's the kind of reset that actually lasts because it regulates your nervous system, and when your body feels safe, your mind stops fighting. You. This is also where practices like Yoga Nidra, the kind that I guide in our Radiant Rest series are so powerful. You're literally retraining your body to relax and reset it's deep rest without needing to try. It's honestly magic. The first time I did your reconnection session, I woke up feeling like my mind had been rebooted, and it's such a perfect way to start a new year, not by hustling, but by grounding. Mm-hmm. Before we go out and build new habits, we have to support stable energy. That's why this reset ritual matters. It teaches your body how to feel calm and capable. From there, sustainable change becomes second nature. And that's also why practices like yoga nidra are so powerful. When your body reaches that deep state of rest, your brain shifts into slower brainwave states. The same ones that connect to your subconscious mind. That's where your most. Ingrained thought patterns and beliefs live in this relaxed state. You're able to gently rewire old programming. The self-doubt, the I can't stick with things, the I'm too late to start stories and replace them with calm empowering truths. You're not just resting your body, you're resetting your mind. And that right there is my personal favorite reason that I love yoga nidra because it helps you rewire subconscious belief patterns. In a really relaxing way. Absolutely. So let's talk about what you could do instead of resolutions, because we know what doesn't work. Cold Turkey goals, perfection, pressure, and punishing routines. Right? What works, especially in midlife, is rhythm. Small repeatable rituals that fit your real life. Like five minutes of morning sunlight while you sip your coffee. A mid-afternoon stretch break, a consistent bedtime. Consistency over intensity every time. You know, that kind of reminds me of, uh, you know, you're kind of getting old and I'm not calling ourselves old, but like you're getting older. Mm-hmm. More mature. Um, you know, I think back to. You know, growing up and a joke was grandma would to say, even if it was on a Sunday, oh, she had to get going'cause she had to get the mail. Oh yeah. And you know, we always kind of laughed about it, like, you don't even have mail coming on Sunday. Like why do you have to get home to get mail? But I get it now, Uhhuh. Okay. Totally.'cause routines and schedules. Oh my gosh, a hundred and consistency. percent is so. Uh, settling. Yeah. You know, and it's not to say don't do the things, don't go out and have fun and all the things, but like, I get it now. Okay. I, yeah. You know, I crave consistency and routine. Mm-hmm. And when you get out of that, it's a little unsettling. Not to say you're not having fun. Right. But it's just like, a part of you also can't wait to get home and Yeah. Continue with your routine. Right. But also, definitely don't just stick in your routine because what did we say before? You don't grow in your comfort zone. Yeah. So, you know, there's a little, there's two sides of it all right. But again, that's what I'm saying, don't think it's, don't get stuck in a rut. Routines are good. Mm-hmm. But don't get stuck in a rut and, you know, prevent yourself from pushing towards your goals. Yeah, I, I agree with that. Right? Yes. And I can totally relate to that. I actually, this, uh, whatever last weekend, weekend before, I don't remember what it was. Um, I, I decided to pop up to see everybody on a Sunday and. Mom was like, well, aren't you gonna stay the night? And I'm like, no. You know, I wanted to get up there and see everybody. So I did it but I. Promised myself that I was gonna come home so that I wouldn't get out of that, you know, consistency in your routine and you know, you're missing your workout then and your diet is different and all of those things are, you know, then you might not get your, me, you know, all of these different pieces that I crave. And yeah, it makes you feel so much better when you are in that consistent, uh, routine of those health habits. It makes a difference. So, yeah, every time, consistency, every time, and this is where habit science meets hormone health. When you repeat small habits consistently, you strengthen neural pathways that make the behavior automatic. That means less willpower, less mental load and it's easier to stick to them then, right? Like I just was saying, I chose to. Basically drive six hours in one day so that I could, it wasn't a hard decision for me, like I wanted to do it. I wanted to stay consistent. Right? Because it makes me feel good. And the beauty of those small habits is that they compound. Absolutely. Like brushing your teeth, you don't even think about it anymore. You just. You just do it. It's maintenance for your glow, for your health. Yeah. And our audience, women and midlife, we already have enough to manage, right? The last thing we need is another all or nothing project. So start where you are. Ask yourself, what would make today just 1% easier? 1% calmer, 1% more joyful. I love that the 1% glow up. You don't need a new routine, you need a new rhythm. And that's why I always say motivation doesn't create action. Action creates motivation. Once you feel that first spark of success, your brain rewards you with dopamine, and suddenly it's easier to keep going. Okay. Can we talk about something? I see all the time. The guilt spiral. You know, you miss one workout or you grab the holiday leftovers and then it's like, well, I already messed up. Might as well give up now. You know, I was in this last week because I was not feeling my greatest. I mm-hmm. I had, uh, a little bit of a cold. It wasn't as a huge, full-blown cold. Um, but I'm someone that will like still continue to do my workout, even if I'm like. Dying in bed. Uh, but last week I'm like, you know what? I'm going to honor my body today. I am not feeling the best. I don't wanna get worse. So today I'm gonna skip my workout and I'm not gonna feel guilty about it. So I definitely get caught up in the guilt spiral, and normally I do, but I made a conscious decision last week that I was not at my best, so I didn't need to make myself worse. So I was honoring my, my body and took the rest I needed. Love it. I love that so much. And I didn't give up. You know, I still have continued to do my workouts even though I missed one or two. Mm-hmm. You know, you don't need to give up and say, oh, right, I already gained five pounds. Might as well just keep going. Yeah. Right. Screw it, you know? Right. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Absolutely. That all or nothing trap. It's one of the biggest mindset hurdles I see in my practice, but the truth is, missing a day doesn't erase your progress. It's part of the process. Your body responds to patterns, not necessarily perfection. Say that again For the people in the back. Your body responds to patterns, not perfection. Yes, exactly. When you let go of the idea that one slip. Ruins everything. You create space for self-compassion and self-compassion is the secret sauce to lasting wellness. None of us need more hustle. We need restoration and a reminder to care for ourselves. And sometimes that means swapping the HIIT workout for a hot bath or the green smoothie for dinner with friends. Exactly. That is wellness. Listening to what your body actually needs. So what if instead of saying, this year I'm going to lose 10 pounds, we said. This year I'm going to feel strong in my body. Mm-hmm. Or instead of I'm going to meditate every day, try, I'm gonna create more calm moments in my day. That's the reframe from results to relationships. Your relationship with yourself. I love that because goals fade, but identity sticks. When you start identifying as the kind of woman who takes care of herself, your habits naturally align. Yes, that's straight from behavioral psychology. Identity-based habits are far more effective than outcome-based ones. So rather than I wanna eat healthier, it's, I'm the kind of person who nourishes my body with food that makes me feel great. I love that. And. That also applies to ever area, wellness, relationships, even style. Like I'm the kind of woman who gets dressed with intention, who wears clothes that make me feel confident and comfortable right now, not 10 pounds ago or 10 years ago. And sometimes it's a cute sweat set. It doesn't have to be a fancy dress. Heck yeah. And that kind of energy ripples out when you feel aligned in your body, your choices follow suit. And this is the magic of my life. We finally get to redefine success, not in numbers or achievements, but in how we feel. Yes. And feeling good isn't frivolous. It's foundational. When your nervous system is calm, your hormones regulate better, your digestion improves, your energy rises, your mood stabilizes. It's literally the biology of feeling good. So this year, let's stop chasing the new me and let's nurture the true me. Okay, let's make this practical. Here's your 2026 reset plan, midlife and glowing style. No pressure. Just a few prompts to anchor your energy. Number one, pick your word for the year, the one we talked about earlier. Number two, choose one daily glow ritual to practice consistently. Maybe it's five minutes of sunlight journaling or gratitude before bed. Number three, schedule your rest. Literally put it on the calendar. Rest is not a reward. It's your reset button. Number four, create a Reconnect Moment weekly. This can be a walk Yoga nidra session, connecting with a friend or a loved one, or even sitting quietly with tea. And number five, celebrate micro wins. You showed up. That's a win. You rested. That's a win. I love it. And it's doable and it actually feels good. You can even make it fun, light a candle, play music, make your reset ritual, something you look forward to, not dread. Right I do this every morning. It's actually, I, you know, a lot of people will say, oh, I hate getting up in the morning when the alarm goes off, whatever. And I don't actually use an alarm, but I get up early and I actually love getting up because, I mean, I am a morning person and I always have been. So, you know, a little, you know, caveat there. But I set my morning up. So that the first thing that I do is something that I enjoy and I find really relaxing. I mean, I do my morning mineral drink, but then I go and do my meditation. So it's not like I'm getting up and I'm, you know, like doing something super stressful right away. I'm getting up and I'm essentially relaxing and pausing and, you know, doing, having a, an intentional start to the day and it feels like such a good, relaxing way to begin. So it's something that I look forward to, right? So try to create a ritual or an environment that actually would be something that you would enjoy, because this isn't punishment, it's presence, and it's telling yourself you matter and you're worth spending the time and energy on. Nobody can do it for you. You have to make yourself a priority. And if you're ready to really start this year from a place of calm, grounded energy, check out our Radiant Rest Yoga Nira Sessions. They're the perfect companion for this season. Whether you're craving deep rest, reconnection, or just a moment a piece for yourself. Yes, it's a gentle invitation to let your body exhale. After the holidays, you'll find the link in the show notes. Alright, friends, as we head into this new year, remember. You don't need to reinvent yourself, you just need to remember yourself. And I gotta say, after having this conversation, I'm feeling extremely motivated to make 2026 the best year yet. Mm. I love it. Me too. Let's do it. Let's all do it. This is your year to let's glow from the inside out, not by forcing change, but by embracing it. Choose rituals over resolutions. Progress over perfection. And if you want some extra support in weaving gentle, doable rituals into your days, grab our free Daily Glow Rituals Guide is full of simple practices to help you start your year in a way that actually feels good. You can find the link in the show notes. Thank you so much for spending your time with us today. If you love this episode, please share it with a friend who's ready for her own reset, or leave us a review on your favorite podcast app. We'd love to hear your word for the year. Come tell us on TikTok at midlife and glowing. Let's make 2026 the year we glow, not grind. Happy New Year friends. We'll see you next time.